To Have and to Laugh.

I love this candid pic of my Mister and me from a wedding we attended recently. The stealthy photographer was able to catch us in the middle of a fun moment. Don’t you want to know what we were laughing about?

The truth is, if you followed us around, it wouldn’t be too hard to spot us in moments just like this. We have a lot of fun together. I didn’t realize that other people really noticed until we were asked to lead a breakout session at a marriage retreat. The subject? Keeping fun and laughter in your marriage.

Once we started to think about talking points, we realized it wasn’t going to be an easy task. We don’t follow a formula, after all. Most of our enjoyment of each other truly comes from a natural chemistry. What amuses us might not be fun (or funny) to anyone else.

When we started to delve into things we enjoy together, we did realize that there are good patterns that we’ve fallen into that can be put into bullet points! Here is the first of three sections we developed.

Make time. Plan times for just the two of you with no everyday distractions like laundry or bill-paying. Set a fun goal, reserve the time on your calendar, and guard that time jealously.

• No cost. Once a week. Take a picnic lunch to a park. Play a board game at home. Ride bikes. Go the mall or a local farmers’ market and people watch. Spend a couple of hours in bed…awake…not watching tv…you know what I mean…sex, I mean have sex.
• Low cost. Once a month. Set a goal and spend a little time planning this one. Two of our friends, for instance, have a goal to try all of the restaurants within driving distance that have been featured on Food Network’s Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives. You could initiate a quest to visit one burger, pizza, or sushi joint once a month until you find the best.
• Splurge. Once a year. Take a class (cooking, dancing, pottery) together. Dress up and eat out at that upscale restaurant. We made a goal to visit all fifty states and try to get at least one new one each year. Twenty-six down!

Your friendship with your spouse is the most important friendship in your life. A lot of people will say a good marriage requires work. I prefer to say that it requires cultivation. I’ll share our other two points in my next posts.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear about some of the things you’ve done to keep fun and laughter in your marriage!